Dearest Paper Girl...

Dear Paper Girl,

Please see above. This is my mailbox. I understand that at the young age of 12 you may not understand the concept of the mailbox. First off, let me give you a definition:

Main Entry: mail·box
Function: noun
1 : a box at or near a dwelling for the occupant's mail
2 : a public box for deposit of outgoing mail
3 : a computer file in which e-mail is collected

I will direct you to the above highlighted definition. I would now like to note that yes, the newspaper that you deliver 3 times a week should be deposited into my mailbox so that it can be read.

Please now note the above picture, the doormat. Let me give you another definition to learn. (Maybe you can practice it in spelling at school):

Main Entry: door·mat Function: noun

1 : a mat placed before or inside a door for wiping dirt from the shoes.

I believe that you may be more familiar with this item as this is where you often leave my paper. Last night in fact was a great night for you to drop your tri-weekly present. I particularly enjoyed attempting to bring the paper in after it had been snowed on. Perhaps you haven't covered this topic yet in school but when paper gets wet, it becomes very soggy, it sticks together and becomes generally more difficult to read.

So, to sum things up, lets use the mailbox. To refresh, please scroll up. It is the box right outside my front door. When you are looking at the doormat, pondering dropping the paper there just look to your left and there it is. You can do it!!!